I feel like closing my eyes and going LA-LA..

Like 1000's of other police officers, I await the news of the Hutton report with clenched buttocks, knowing that I am going to get unceremoniously 'shafted' by those in power, and as the old saying goes, I won't even get a peck on the cheek whilst they're doing it. I suspect that the Winsor report was just a quick 'feel up', to carry on with that metaphor.

I really can't begin to put into words how I feel. Anger, frustration, betrayed and despondent are just a few but they don't even touch the tip of the iceberg. There is no point about rambling on about how unfair all this is, citing history will not change what is happening TODAY.

All I know is that the changes proposed will have a profound impact on the very reason I go to work in the first place, my family. I have two teens, one is nearly 18 and the other turned 15. The two teens are working hard towards getting a decent education, my 18 year old is coming to the end of a 2 year sociology course with a view to moving onto Uni. My 15 year old has eyes on the RAF and is working hard to try and achieve the entry qualifications. As a responsible parent I want to support my children in whatever they choose to do. Up until now I thought I had a fighting chance on doing just that, supporting them through college and Uni until they find their own way. Unfortunately if these proposals come in I could be up to £500 a month worse off, so my aspirations of supporting my children in their education are dead in the water (sorry, i'm full of metaphors this morning). I also have an 8 year old, but all he cares about is Lego so I think I'm all right there for a couple of years.

When I joined up I signed a piece of paper, actually quite a few if I recall. After years of relentless shift work, rolling around on the floor with thieving druggie scum, confronting death on a regular basis and generally trying to make a difference a decent pension was, I think, a decent pay-off for missing birthdays, Christmas and other special occasions. Sadly, I think it's only police officers and their families who feel this way, being portrayed in the media as overtime hungry hounds and bloated by all that cash that we simply cannot spend hasn't helped our cause. Everyone seems to think we drink tea and eat donuts. Well, we do but we also rush to your aid at breakneck speed, risking our lives and that of others if you pick up the phone. We also try to help families who suffered the sudden loss of a loved one, pick up the pieces after a fatal RTC, put ourselves in harm's way in violent situations. All these things are carried out everyday by officers all over the country. We do all this and much more you see because we joined up to make a difference, to police without fear nor favour. At the end of it all we just want to retire, hopefully in one piece and enjoy our few remaining years with loved ones before the high mortality rate gets us too.

I don't know what's in store for the future. I see that the Police Federation are preparing for battle, that there will be a call to arms (more metaphors). Officers will march, work to rule, whatever. All this at a time when civil unrest is just around the corner. Scary times.